If you are born in this country, and middle-class, you are out of luck for most everything – even with the Barack Obama for Middle Class crock pot speech last night.  Double down on the child care credit, wow, thanks.

Mr. President, $85,000 in Butte, Montana or Lufkin, Texas is decent money, and clearly middle-class.  $85,000 in San Francisco, New York, Chicago, or most large metropolitan areas doesn’t allow you to afford child care.  The typical pre-school in San Jose runs between $900 and $1250 per month per child.  Of course, I can find some un-licensed home where I can drop the kids, so they can have their mind numbed from 10 consecutive hours of TV, interrupted by a bowl of macaroni and cheese for half that price, but I digress.

Dummies Guide to Scamming the United States Government for Immigrants and Foreigners:

Chapter 1: Secure a tourist visa into the United States and travel with your not-yet visibly pregnant wife.  Develop “complications” so she (and you) can stay over for the birth of newly-minted American citizen.

Chapter 2: Foreign countries can populate American universities with graduate engineering students.  A large percentage will secure jobs with American technology companies after receiving their degrees, on the path to a Green Card, at which time they can begin sponsoring family members.

Upon garnering citizenship, they are able to work for government agencies and labs.  Can we play connect the dots?

Currently, the CIO of the United States of America, Vivek Kundra, the person who heads technology for the country was not born on our soil.

CIO Vivek Kundra Was Not Born in America

Chapter 3: Make your way to Mexico from wherever you are, sneak into the country and wait for Democrats to offer amnesty.  It’s faster than applying the old-fashioned way for a visa.

Feel free to chime in with ideas for Chapter 4, 5 and 6.

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We can even do a color test between Barack Obama and Bin-Laden to see who has darker pigmentation, but that doesn’t matter, it’s Bin-Laden who is classified as being melanin-challenged.

President Obama is a half-Black Man

Osama Bin Laden is a White Guy

How is this possible? How can Bin-Laden be a white man, you ask? He is from Saudi Arabia, which is in the Middle East, and what we consider the Middle East is really, for the most part in Western Asia. This makes him Asian and Arab and brown. Ah, but he is the wrong kind of Asian, and the wrong kind of brown, and since Arabs (like Indians and Pakistanis) are biologically Caucasian, he’s now a white guy.

But wait, our color-blind, let a man be judged by his character rather than the color of his skin government has a different idea. This is pulled directly off the United States Government Census website:

White. A person having origins in any of the original peoples of Europe, the Middle East, or North Africa. It includes people who indicate their race as “White” or report entries such as Irish, German, Italian, Lebanese, Near Easterner, Arab, or Polish.

Right, a Swedish-American has many of the same traits as, let’s say a Libyan.

Wait…that means Colonel Moammar Khadafy is also a white guy! Conan O’Brien, Bin-Laden and Khadafy – all white guys!

Conan O'Brien - Super White Guy

The more we classify and separate each other, the farther we grow apart. The more we mention race and ethnicity it doesn’t heal, it separates. I am refusing to answer the “Race” section on next year’s census. I am an American, I don’t need a hyphen.

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