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Archive for the ‘Political Satire’ Category

Republicans Are Stupid…Too

Sunday, November 8th, 2009

Stupidity is equal opportunity. There are stupid Democrats, stupid Republicans, stupid men, women and kids. Fat idiots and skinny alike, and there are midget morons as well as very tall morons.

Some Republicans Are Idiots

I came across one Republican on Facebook last week who decided I was in the Stupid category because I disagreed with him on gun ownership and gun control.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I told him that I don’t need a gun and likely never will. I live in San Jose and cannot go hunting at the park where my kids play, and since I don’t feel a need to pack heat when I go grocery shopping, my desire for a Glock is less than minimal.

This set him off. Not only did he call me stupid, he went on this rampage:

“OMG I cannot understand how you can be so stupid. You and this site with it’s comments. Just think about this- the only reason you and I can put our thoughts on this or any other site is because of the 2nd amendment. The only reason our home land, the USA, has never been invaded is because we have the right to own guns, the only reason you have freedom of speech is because we have the right to own guns, the only reason you get to work where you wish, shop where you wish, watch movies made by idoits(Chris Rock), see any doctor you wish and pee in you own home is all because of the 2nd Amendment and our guns. If you had half a brain you would do a little research of the countries in this world who do not have the right to own guns and you will discover just how much there crime rates have risen and oh by the way Germany abolished gun ownership and lets see who took power– Nazi’s and they killed millions of people just like you. Keep thinking the way you do an you will find yourself clawing you way to the top of a pile of dead people. GUNS do not KILL people. PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE. That would be you–Yoonsun and Logical Gop. Idiots. I am a true God fearing American, my father fought and was wounded in WWII and I fought in VietNam both of us did so gladly so you could say whatever you like. And guess what we would do it all again for FREEDOM. GOD, FAMILY, COUNTRY are the only things that matter. I you do not like it then please leave and donot let the door hit you in the ass as you go. IDIOTS.”

I congratulated and thanked him for his service to his country, but asked a very pointed question: Please tell me one instance in history when a private citizen has stopped an enemy invasion of the United States with his own firearm? I also suggested he use a spell check – the post is verbatim.

He had no response and deleted me as a friend on Facebook.

Either I am really stupid for not defending our country with my own MX8 assault rifle and keeping Silicon Valley free of invading troops or my opening statement is true…stupidity is equal opportunity.

XM8 Assault Rifle

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Tags: 2nd amendment, assault rifle, democrats, glock, gun control, idiots, mx8, republicans, silicon valley, stupid
Posted in Community, Political Satire, Politics | 3 Comments »

Why are Liberals Angry and Unhappy?

Monday, October 19th, 2009

This is purely an observation, but liberals seem to be rather unhappy. I was almost run over in the grocery store parking lot last evening by an overweight woman driving a Korean car with an Obama/Biden bumper sticker. When I raised my arms as if to say, “hey, I have the right-of-way,” she flipped me off. Support the unions but drive foreign, I say. I don’t support the unions and I drive a Saturn. Hybrid, even.

Last summer I was in Chicago walking from the Navy Pier back to my hotel on Michigan Avenue when I was approached by college kid who asked if I would donate to help support the Obama campaign. I asked him why he supports Obama and he said that Obama would help students like him afford college.

I told him that I worked and took out loans to help me get through my undergrad and post-grad studies, plus I got some grants that helped pay for ramen and macaroni and cheese. Grants wouldn’t do much he went on to say, because he is attending a school back east and it was rather expensive.

When I suggested he attend a State school instead of a private, liberal arts college, he told me to expletive off.

A friend on Facebook just posted: To all the youth who can not seem to find their way to remove their hat or stop talking during the national anthem, remember, it’s my husband who is out there fighting so you can be disrespectful!!!

Our freedom is not free, people. College hipsters in Berkeley can sport a Che Guevara t-shirt around campus, but I doubt a Cuban student can wear a JFK tank top around town. He’d likely get a stiff reprimand.

Sean Penn and Danny Glover can pimp for Hugo Chavez because that is their right as Americans, but Jose Venezuelan with a Reagan Rocks headband may come into some difficulty with local law enforcement.

Bosom buddies - Glover and Chavez

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Tags: angry, che guevara, danny glover, hugo chavez, liberals, obama, sean penn, unhappy
Posted in Political Satire, Politics | 1 Comment »

Santa Clara County Election – Waste of Taxpayer Money

Thursday, October 15th, 2009

I received my Sample Ballot for the upcoming November 3, 2009 election. I knew there was no presidential, gubernatorial or mayoral election this year, and I couldn’t think of anything else of importance I’d read about coming up on the ballot.

Salivating, I open up the booklet and there is was, the Official Ballot. Not bond measures, propositions, or County Supervisors up for election. Nope. It’s the Orchard School District Board Member election.

Santa Clara County Wasting Taxpayer Money Again

There are four names on the ballot that I can choose three from. That’s it.

The county paid just how much so I can vote for 3 board members for a school board that has a grand total of ONE school?

I need to buy reams of paper for my daughter’s classroom and send glue-sticks in her backpack, but they can spend thousands of dollars on an election that is borderline meaningless. Can they not have these office terms expire in years that “real” elections are held?

The City of Los Altos and Cupertino are also having similar elections, but Cupertino did it right, they also are letting their registered voters select the new Director for their Sanitary District.

I suppose I am the only one who thinks these elections are a waste of time and money, and since the voter turnout will likely be under 25%, we will have School Board members elected with 27 votes.

Maybe we can have a special election to eliminate needless elections. I’d vote for that.

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Tags: Election, government waste, handbook, November 3 2009, Santa Clara County, taxpayer, voter
Posted in Community, Political Satire, Politics, Things That Irritate Me | 2 Comments »

Osama Bin-Laden is a White Man

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009

Osama Bin-Laden is a white man. Yes, I know he has a ruddy brown complexion and is darker than many black people, but according to none other than the United States Government, he is a white man.

We can even do a color test between Barack Obama and Bin-Laden to see who has darker pigmentation, but that doesn’t matter, it’s Bin-Laden who is classified as being melanin-challenged.

President Obama is a half-Black Man

Osama Bin Laden is a White Guy

How is this possible? How can Bin-Laden be a white man, you ask? He is from Saudi Arabia, which is in the Middle East, and what we consider the Middle East is really, for the most part in Western Asia. This makes him Asian and Arab and brown. Ah, but he is the wrong kind of Asian, and the wrong kind of brown, and since Arabs (like Indians and Pakistanis) are biologically Caucasian, he’s now a white guy.

But wait, our color-blind, let a man be judged by his character rather than the color of his skin government has a different idea. This is pulled directly off the United States Government Census website:

White. A person having origins in any of the original peoples of Europe, the Middle East, or North Africa. It includes people who indicate their race as “White” or report entries such as Irish, German, Italian, Lebanese, Near Easterner, Arab, or Polish.

Right, a Swedish-American has many of the same traits as, let’s say a Libyan.

Wait…that means Colonel Moammar Khadafy is also a white guy! Conan O’Brien, Bin-Laden and Khadafy – all white guys!

Conan O'Brien - Super White Guy

The more we classify and separate each other, the farther we grow apart. The more we mention race and ethnicity it doesn’t heal, it separates. I am refusing to answer the “Race” section on next year’s census. I am an American, I don’t need a hyphen.

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Tags: barack obama, conan o'brien, melanin, moammar khadafy, osama bin laden, race, us census, white guys
Posted in Political Satire, Politics, Race and Ethnicity, Things That Irritate Me | 3 Comments »

Logical Republican Has Arrived – Love Me or Hate Me

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

This is just what we need, another political blog from a semi-right-wing living contradiction who is a non-bible-thumping, non-Barack Obama-hating, non-George Bush-loving Republican hailing from San Francisco.

Does the world really need my commentary and opinion? I’d like to think so, because I am right, as in correct, on most things. Am I smarter than you? According to statistics based on that (ha-ha) culturally-biased Stanford-Binet IQ Test, yes – or at least more so than 98% of the general population. But that’s not why I tend to be correct most of the time, it’s because I try to use logic and common sense. Not because I am a pompous jerk that recites test scores, though some may dispute this.

Logic tells me that General Motors cannot survive paying legacy workers’ pensions and benefits to the tune of $6000 per vehicle sold. In other words, $6-large off the top of each car, truck and SUV GM sells goes to pay off people who no longer make their lousy cars in their under-producing factories.

Common sense tells me it’s not racial profiling when police pull over a 1976 Monte Carlo with 20-inch rims and a broken tail light or overly tinted windows in a gang-infested neighborhood.

My heart tells me that if I lived in a poor country with little chance for success that I, too, would beg, borrow and steal my way into this country, regardless of the potential consequences. Same as if my family were hungry, I’d feed them someway, somehow. Not that my methods would be right, but they would be.

My opinion is that all of those who thought George Bush ripped off Al Gore in the “dangling Chad” 2000 election should feel the same way regarding the Al Franken “Minnesota found ballots” in 2009. But they don’t.

And finally, give high school kids condoms. All the damn Trojans they want. Abstinence does not work for most horny teenagers, so give the kid a rubber or deal with the consequences of welfare moms and overcrowded prisons when another ghetto bastard who doesn’t know his dad knocks over a liquor store and gets a 10-year bid on your on your holier-than-thou Theo-Con dime.

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Tags: Blog, Commentary, Republican, Satire
Posted in Political Satire, Politics | No Comments »

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Archives

Archive for the ‘Political Satire’ Category

Republicans Are Stupid…Too

Some Republicans Are Idiots

Why are Liberals Angry and Unhappy?

Santa Clara County Election – Waste of Taxpayer Money

Osama Bin-Laden is a White Man

Logical Republican Has Arrived – Love Me or Hate Me