Logical Republican » Political Satire

Don’t Blame Me, Porn is 37% of The Web

Rich — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 23:23:20 +0000

Think about this the next time you read this blog and are pissed off about something I write, porn makes up roughly 37 percent of the total number of web pages. Yes, more than one-third of all the Internet is porn!

My feeling is that anything that doesn’t cost me tax dollars, is not illegal, does not harm anyone physically or emotionally and is done in the privacy of your own home is cool with me. In other words, if there is a single senator from your home state that wants to show his Wiener to some willing partner on Yahoo Chat, knock yourself out.

That said, if you want more non-porn to populate the cloud, read more blogs, comment on said blogs, patronize news sites, join social networks and create pages, upload pictures to Flickr, or stop sneaking a look yourself!

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Please Mr. President Raise My Taxes

Rich — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 23:57:18 +0000

Please, Mr. President, raise my taxes so you don’t have to cut entitlements, pensions or waste.

Please raise my taxes so we can continue to send aid checks to countries that hate us.

Please raise my taxes so we can create new government agencies that give jobs and pensions to people who accomplish nothing.

Please raise my taxes so we can pay college tuition for illegal immigrants.

Please raise my taxes so we can pay for medical expenses of family members of non-citizens who can sponsor their parents even though they only hold a green card.

Please raise my taxes so we can continue paying welfare to people who have cashed checks for decades without ever looking for a job.

Please raise my taxes so we can cover growing pension payments for every government aide that has graced the land of the free and home of the brave.

Please raise my taxes so we subsidize corn farmers so we can make ethanol. Never mind that it costs $5.00 per gallon to produce and sells for $3.00.

Please raise my taxes so we can fund another Solyndra.

Doug Edwards, a former Google tech-millionaire, and Obama supporter was apparently OK’d to get up and ask Mr. Obama to raise his taxes, while speaking at a townhall meeting at LinkedIn.com. Since raising taxes has been one of Obama’s goals since he has been in office, and since Edwards has donated large sums of money to Democratic causes in the past, it would not be surprising if he approached the Obama team to pre-qualify the question knowing full well the sound-bite press coverage it would get.

Again, instead of raising taxes for anyone, let’s cut the fat, and let’s start with pensions. I challenge a politician, particularly a Republican politician to announce for the record they will forgo their pension once retired and then have them challenge others and see if it gains any traction.

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Immigrant Entrepreneurs

Rich — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 00:13:19 +0000

An interesting tidbit that I just came across: 29-percent of new entrepreneurs in the United States are immigrants.

Truly the land of opportunity, and I see it all day and every day in Silicon Valley. Why is it that other parts of the country cannot get on the bandwagon instead of waiting for Obama-care to take care of them with temp jobs that lead nowhere?

In Silicon Valley we aren’t afraid of failure; it’s a badge of valor – it means you tried. Take your lumps and go for another. Companies fail all the time out here, and there are layoffs as well. Guess where so many of the new brilliant ideas ferment – yes, from laid-off tech geeks.

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Grocery Store Plastic Bag Ban

Rich — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 04:23:46 +0000

Politicians have nothing else to do. Never mind the budget overruns, out of whack pensions for public employees or transit systems that are terminally broken. None of these matter as much as stopping me from having my milk put into a bag made from plastic at the grocery store. It started in San Francisco, likely the most dysfunctional city in America, and has filtered south to San Jose, a city where bootleg DVDs and handbags can be found in a dozen ethnic shopping malls around town without a second glance from city hall.

Years ago stores phased out paper bags because they killed trees and plastic was cheaper. Now plastic is evil and paper is coming back, or to some stores, such as Ikea, bags have been eliminated, period. We are supposed to bring a re-usable bags. A bag I am supposed to buy.

Never mind the inconvenience or how I will get 4 gallons of milk upstairs from the garage, plus my groceries. Never mind the cans of green beans rolling around my trunk. Never mind that I now have to buy trash bags – plastic trash bags. Today, I reuse these bags for garbage and recycling, but that is probably evil, too.

grocery-store-plastic-bags-banned

The micro-management of our elected politicians is getting more and more bizarre, and we as a population seem to tolerate this behavior. The silent majority needs to take a stand to the so-called “correct left” and say enough is enough: do something useful like eliminating all government pensions for those who don’t teach our children or risk their life on our behalf so we can stop living in a deficit world.

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Barbara Boxer is Now a Blonde

Rich — Mon, 24 May 2010 23:17:04 +0000

Barbara Boxer is fighting for her political life, running for re-election this November, assuming she wins the June 8^th California primary election. President Obama has made two appearances within the state to assist with fundraising, so apparently she and the Democrats are a bit worried about her chances in the November general election. According to her website, Boxer has more than $9 million on hand in her war chest.

Most people, including myself, feel she is about as safe as can be, considering California’s voting record and her mystifying popularity. I don’t really know anyone who actually likes her or thinks she does a good job, but they all feel she will beat her potential Republican opponents, either former HP CEO Carly Fiorina or perennial candidate, Tom Campbell.

However some think the “Scott Brown Effect” may doom her. Either way, I thinks she is worried, and this is, to me, obvious from the changing colors of her hair. In case you haven’t noticed, 69 year-old Barbara Boxer is now a blonde.

Over the years Barbara Boxer has been many things, from graying granny to ballsy brunette, and now a blonde. Let’s look at the many faces of Barbara Boxer, shall we?

Barbara Boxer circa 1993 with gray hair

Barbara Boxer With Grey Hair

Looking like Laura Bush with brown hair, this look didn’t last

Barbara Boxer with brown hair looking like an older Laura Bush

At age 69, Barbara Boxer is now a blonde. Not that there is anything wrong with that, mind you!

69 year-old Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif., now has blond hair

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Omni Berkshire Hotel in New York, Unions and the Mafia

Rich — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 17:40:18 +0000

Is organized crime involved with union affairs in New York City? Is the mob involved with their daily operations, work stoppages and protests?

I was in Manhattan last week, and while on my way to a meeting there was a big commotion with banging drums and a group chanting, “union…union…” across the street from the Omni Berkshire Hotel on 52nd and Madison. There was a 10-foot tall inflatable rat placed in the street directly in front of the hotel’s main entrance to imply the hotel’s management is rodent-like in their dealings with their particular union.

Omni Berkshire Hotel New York Union Protests and The Mafia

It was a small gathering, maybe 20 guys who looked like rugged dudes from Hollywood Central Casting, if there indeed was a call for longshoreman and construction workers. The guys were mostly standing around looking like rugged union members tend to look, while a couple of loud-mouths did the screaming into a distorted bullhorn.

And then I saw him, in the sea of ruggedness, there he was. We made eye contact, and I made him. He wasn’t rugged, and he wasn’t a loudmouth. He was standing behind the barricade next to the HVAC guys, looking like a leftover from a Soprano’s episode. He didn’t wear a well-worn paint-stained t-shirt like the rest of the guys, calloused hands or a weathered leathery skin from decades of working in the elements. No, he had perfectly combed, slicked-back hair, a designer sweater and gold chain around his neck. It wasn’t a Sir Mix-A-Lot rope chain, but it wasn’t purchased at Zale’s for $99.00 either.

He looked how “muscle” is supposed to look, or at least how it’s portrayed in the movies.

Could he have been there to protect the “interests” of someone or some group, or protect the union workers from being harassed by hotel security or a local beat cop? Maybe.

Could he have simply been the well-dressed son of one of the protesters hanging out in the middle of the afternoon showing solidarity and support for his dad’s union? Maybe.

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MBE MWBE Minority And Women Owned Business Scams

Rich — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 23:40:11 +0000

Are you a white guy or maybe you know a white guy who owns a business or company that bids on government business and keeps losing out on work to minority and/or women-owned businesses because they get preference on certain contracts?

Yes, we all know how ridiculous these programs are – where a wealthy kid from let’s say, Singapore, comes to America to get his MBA on daddy’s dime. He then gets a gig at Company X who agrees to sponsor his H-1 Visa so he can get a Green Card.

Packing his Green Card and on his way to citizenship, he ventures out on his own and opens up Singapore Sling, the latest in military weaponry – laser-directional stealth slingshots, and your direct competition.

Now with citizenship paperwork in hand, our newly-minted American is bidding on government contracts, and since he is now a certified MBE, the acronym for a minority-owned business, his operation now gets bidding preference over your true-blue American company on certain set-aside contracts.

Let’s review and get this straight: He comes from a country where he is of the majority, not disadvantaged or poor, but comes to the land of milk and honey and low-and-behold, he’s now a disadvantaged minority! All he has to do is make sure all his family money is off-shore in his family’s name and he’s set.

What to do now, Mr. Non-Person-Of-Color? Guess what…you, too, can own one of these Minority-Owned companies, Mr. White Man!

I am assuming you are single and straight.

Go to a mail-order-bride website and choose a girl from a country where the people are yellow, brown or black hued and get hitched. Of course not all brown people, Africans or Asians are considered minorities, so choose wisely.

Next, jump through the ICE hoops and bring her home. Soon thereafter she will get her Green Card and a few years after that she can be a full-fledged US Citizen, although in New York and some other states, she doesn’t even need to be a citizen for MWBE certification.

New York MWBE Program Certifies Non-Citizens

Teach her the ropes so she understands the business model, print up some cards saying she is the President and CEO, give her 51% of the stock, and you are now in a winning position. Your slingshots are now getting even more of a preference over Singapore Sling’s because your wife is not only a minority; she’s a woman, too! The only thing that would make it better was if she happened to be disabled. Hmmm!

Yes, folks, this is how absurd our government’s programs are – a rich SOB from another country can come here for school and just because he happens to be the correct shade on the color bar, he is now a disadvantaged minority – even though he never experienced discrimination, never heard of Rosa Parks and only is familiar with Martin Luther King because of the holiday.

Pathetic.

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Dummies Guide to Scamming the United States Government for Immigrants and Foreigners

Rich — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 02:08:47 +0000

With all the scams being run on the U.S. government, I am surprised there is not a Dummies Guide to Scamming for U.S. Government for foreigners, and immigrants, legal or otherwise.

If you are born in this country, and middle-class, you are out of luck for most everything – even with the Barack Obama for Middle Class crock pot speech last night. Double down on the child care credit, wow, thanks.

Mr. President, $85,000 in Butte, Montana or Lufkin, Texas is decent money, and clearly middle-class. $85,000 in San Francisco, New York, Chicago, or most large metropolitan areas doesn’t allow you to afford child care. The typical pre-school in San Jose runs between $900 and $1250 per month per child. Of course, I can find some un-licensed home where I can drop the kids, so they can have their mind numbed from 10 consecutive hours of TV, interrupted by a bowl of macaroni and cheese for half that price, but I digress.

Dummies Guide to Scamming the United States Government for Immigrants and Foreigners:

Chapter 1: Secure a tourist visa into the United States and travel with your not-yet visibly pregnant wife. Develop “complications” so she (and you) can stay over for the birth of newly-minted American citizen.

Chapter 2: Foreign countries can populate American universities with graduate engineering students. A large percentage will secure jobs with American technology companies after receiving their degrees, on the path to a Green Card, at which time they can begin sponsoring family members.

Upon garnering citizenship, they are able to work for government agencies and labs. Can we play connect the dots?

Currently, the CIO of the United States of America, Vivek Kundra, the person who heads technology for the country was not born on our soil.

CIO Vivek Kundra Was Not Born in America

Chapter 3: Make your way to Mexico from wherever you are, sneak into the country and wait for Democrats to offer amnesty. It’s faster than applying the old-fashioned way for a visa.

Feel free to chime in with ideas for Chapter 4, 5 and 6.

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Welcome to The People’s Republic of Berkeley

Rich — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 23:53:12 +0000

Why are some really smart and intelligent people Democrats? It’s a really good question to ponder, and most of these Democrats cannot really tell you why, other than “because.”

I had lunch with a friend recently who is a registered Democrat, and a graduate of U.C. Berkeley, arguably the finest public university in the United States. This person graduated with a degree in Economics, and a grade point average north of 3.5. If we add up the thousands of hours of studying in high school to keep an A-average that is required to gain admittance to Berkeley, unless you are a star athlete or an “under-represented” minority, and the additional thousands of hours to achieve the high class-standing, it is staggering. The level of sheer commitment and dedication is not only admirable it is commendable.

In review: UC Berkeley graduate who studied for thousands of hours over an eight-year period to find a great job, earn a healthy salary, drive a nice car and live in a clean, safe neighborhood is a Democrat. Q: Why? A: Because.

When asked if he felt that it would be correct to have some of his wealth re-distributed to level the playing field of life, there was a prolonged silence.

He asked for clarification, so I said, “I’m sure you know some people from high school that decided to hang out instead of study like you did, who made some dumb life choices and are now janitors, un(der)-employed or out on parole, right?”

He said, “Yeah, so, we all do…what’s the point?”

“Well, they made a choice to hang out on the corner, not study or skip going to class, while you were busting your ass to get in to Berkeley, right”

He said, “Yeah, so…the point?”

“Well, your president, the guy you voted for would like you to help them out, and not just with a hand, but a hand out…and not just once or twice, but basically forever,” I said.

“Essentially, what I am asking is this: Do you believe you should be rewarded for all your hard work, or should you be penalized for succeeding?”

“Rewarded, of course,” he said. “Why the hell should I be penalized for doing the right thing?” he asked.

My point exactly!

Why can’t more democrats and self-professed Obama lovers read between the lines and see reality? Tax investments, money that was already taxed the first time? Over tax and target the very people who start the companies that hire our citizens? This defies all logic!

Should I, he, you, or anyone who does the right thing have to support others until the day they die simply because they are too lazy to look for a job or study for a class? I am not speaking of down-on-their-luck, disabled, handicapped, mentally or physically challenged folks here, but rather those who made bad choices and make no effort to remedy the situation. Government assistance, unemployment benefits and food stamps all have a place in our society to help people and families get back on their feet, not to become a way of life.

In San Francisco, for example, the Community College, City College of San Francisco has campuses all over town which are accessible by bus. They hold day classes, night classes, weekend classes…classes during the summer, spring and fall, and even winter session. If you cannot afford the tuition there are waivers and grants; if you need child care that is also offered at no cost. Pretty sweet deal.

The People’s Republic of Berkeley

Berkeley is a unique place, where freedom of speech means that your speech better be in alignment with their opinions, or you will be shot down (figuratively), assaulted (physically) and censored. I can understand how peer pressure can turn influential 17 year-old freshmen into Kool-Aid drinking liberals, the same way a particular dictator spread goose-stepping throughout a region.

Yes, Berkeley is a place where wearing a “Proud to be a Republican” t-shirt may lead to a physical assault by those who believe in freedom of speech…Welcome to The People’s Republic of Berkeley.

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High School Student Suspended for Dressing as Santa Claus

Rich — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 19:58:36 +0000

Let me begin by wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, and now for the Scrooge and Grinch of the Season award.

A kid, Michael Hance at Strath Haven High School in Wallingford, Pennsylvania, just outside Philadelphia, told his principal that he was going to wear a Santa suit to school and hand out candy. She said no, but he did it anyway. They grabbed him and suspended him for defying her.

Strath Haven High School Prinipal MaryJo Yannacone Contact Information

The Strath Haven High School principal’s name is MaryJo Yannacone and her email is myannacone@wssd.org

Outside of this being ridiculous, absurd and downright dumb, let me know if you are in agreement that we should drop MaryJo Yannacone a note and let her know just how we feel, and if you happen to have one of those 11 year-old fruitcakes from Aunt Louise, here is her address:

Strath Haven High School

MaryJo Yannacone

205 S. Providence Road

Wallingford, PA 19086.

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